30 of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week (October 10, 2026)

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  • 01
    that_techboy ❤ @JoshuaIsreal01 I'm the API between Claude and my manager 3:00 AM - 10/1/26 · 782K Views 125 17 2.5K 25K 1.2K ↑
  • 02
    teen vampire, aged 40 @witchesflight Sauron tracking the Ring claret & @manuelfranzini. 1d what the h I has happened to my parcel Dispatched Sep 25 23:03 pm In Transit Sep 26 09:52 am Delayed Sep 26 10:57 am Held By Carrier Sep 26 15:07 pm Destroyed Sep 26 15:08 pm 7:29 PM 9/27/26 811K Views 54 1 5.1K 39K ☐ 1.3K
    via TwitterLitter
  • 03
    valentine @valawakened If you were a fish at an aquarium, I'd read your entire little information plaque and stand there way too long watching you swim around so you'd know you were my favorite. 11:55 AM · 10/1/26.471K Views 41 12.3K 28K ☐ 1.8K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 04
    Kŵbň✰✰ @akokc_dark0 Me during World War III fighting for China because I accepted all of Temu's terms and conditions without reading them: 24 12:43 PM 9/27/26 2.4M Views 770 17 15K ☑ 122K ☐ 6.7K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 05
    Uubzu v4 @uubzu It won't make sense to have separate robots for household chores and home defense 8:23 PM 9/26/26-50K Views 84 17199 2.8K ☐ 100 ↑
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  • 06
    Divine ❤ @Divinsity Eventually Apple is gonna run out of beautiful places in California to name their OS after, and in 2080 we'll have macOS Bakersfield • 9:32 PM 9/27/26 1.2M Views 457 17 2.6K 67K ☐ 1.9K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 07
    Remy Buxaplenty @stretchfchw If I go to your house and you serve me 7 different brands of microwave lasagna in one pan, I'll punch you in your chest Motherhood @Motherhoodspx. 1d It's time to serve lasagna for family dinner ☑
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  • 08
    Reseller Rowe @resellerrowe One customer moved away and my White Claw sales dropped $6,175.14 at my restaurant. Apparently I didn't have a White Claw customer. I had THE White Claw customer e Toast The decline is concentrated in a few brands: • White Claw: $1,102.02 vs $7,277.16, down 84.9% 8:15 PM 9/27/26 1.7M Views 106 11.7K 96K 1.6K 企
    via TwitterLitter
  • 09
    vandul ❤ @_vandul my uncle actually got to meet the real Chris Hansen once in person he doesn't like talking about it tho . 7:39 PM 9/30/26 773K Views 110 1.1K 41K 965
    via TwitterLitter
  • 10
    Kafka, Esq. @metalgearobama "Have you seen" seen" yes. Yes I have. I am on the internet constantly like everyone else. I have seen it. My screen time has been 8 hours a day every year since like 2007. It's not good. I have seen it. We don't need to talk about internet sh. How are your kids 1:27 PM 9/30/26 510K Views • 30 1 5.1K 42K ☐ 1.4K ↑
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  • 11
    Art Sports ArtButMakeltSports ❤ @ArtButSports Man in a Blue Mantle, by John Singer Sargent, 1891, via @cjzero 0 3rd & GOAL 2ND 6:53 33 7 --- Philadelphia Eagles and 4 others 9:52 PM 9/28/26 2.5M Views 218 17 6.8K 85K 3.3K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 12
    james barrett (new album 10/16) @TheLordOfSynth I went to the orange crosstrek parade this weekend and it was the greatest experience of my life SUNSHINE ORANGE SUBARU CROSSTREK 2ND ANNUAL MEET & PARADE Mishmash Presents... • 9:11 PM 9/27/26 700K Views 98 17797 24K 1.1K ↑
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  • 13
    ratman @CoalPowers Imagine being the lowest elevation corpse on mount everest. loser 3:02 AM 9/25/26 2.7M Views 341 1 6.1K 157K 3.1K ↑
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  • 14
    Granite Mtn. @granite_mtn "Your child's assignment is in ParentVue. Have you checked Canvas? The homework is in EduSpot. The grades are available on Teacherly. I mentioned this in the WhatsApp group. It was literally sent to your comcast dot net email address. Canvas has it for you. It's in Canvas." 904531346 8:38 AM 9/28/26 619K Views 228 17 1K iStock Credit: JohnnyGreig 16K ☐ 1.5K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 15
    NUELXX Nuelxx @nuel_szy level 1 ADHD sh is texting a link to myself because i don't know an easier way to get it from my computer to my phone. level 44 ADHD sh is hearing my phone buzz 1.5 seconds later and going "oh who's that" 6:14 AM 10/3/26 33K Views 11 17 216 3.1K 120 ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 16
    Moe @MoeKJV1611jaja His eyes were a striking blue, like blue Gatorade, and his cheeks were flushed, like red Gatorade. His demeanor was mysterious, yet refreshing, like yellow Gatorade. And his shirt was the hue of orange Gatorade 11:51 PM 9/24/26 2.1M Views 313 17 20K 190K ☐ 10K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 17
    Kadott ✔ @Kadotttt Corporate jobs are so funny you'll be 23 and your greatest enemy in the world is a 56 year old woman 5:05 AM 9/25/26 2.1M Views 200 17 7.5K 83K ☐ 2.7K
    via TwitterLitter
  • 18
    NUELXX Nuelxx @nuel_szy Neurotypicals: "I do a little bit every day." ADHDers: I do absolutely nothing for 11 days, then complete everything in one terrifying 9-hour burst that scares the dog. 2:30 AM 9/27/26 191K Views 35 17 2.7K 25K 1.2K
    via TwitterLitter
  • 19
    Justine Moore @venturetwins Marketing my cat like a new Apple product Haptic reminders. • 4:39 PM 9/26/26-406K Views 127 17 2.3K ☑ א 20K ☐ 2.6K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 20
    WaterGape @WaterGape if a girl cancels plans with you text her back saying my night just freed up want to hang 3:15 PM 9/25/26 1.6M Views 84 412 43K 3.8K
    via TwitterLitter
  • 21
    Emerson Lotzia, Jr. @EmersonLotzia My wife after I've worked up the courage to ask her what our plans are this weekend when I know she's already told me at least a dozen times. ERS ALE prime GOTEN BAY 27 TNF 3rd & 10 4TH 10:44 33 7G ☑ 8:52 AM 9/25/26 867K Views • 50 1439 11K ☐ 1K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 22
    JEFF @jeffisrael25 Massachusetts absolutely cooking right now. Hub of the universe. TRENDING: NOR'EASTER | LESBIAN BAR | RAT SUMMIT | . 8:23 PM 9/24/26 202K Views 26 17770 9.9K 441 ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 23
    Dad @achiever4L Cave divers with 3 kids and a loving wife when they hear about a cave called Lucifer's a h le 4GIFS.com GIF 12:13 PM 9/23/26 1.7M Views 82 t 2.7K 17K 728 ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 24
    Brian Kimmel @IAmTheKimmel My dad used to completely lose interest in a movie if something stupidly unbelievable happened in it. But understand, this meant that if he was watching a werewolf movie and a character went to the post office on Sunday when they're closed, he's stop watching. 9:27 PM 10/2/26 1.1M Views • 402 t 4.5K 82K ☐ 2.5K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 25
    En Júpiter ❤ @En_jupiter_ Translated from Spanish by Grok When one AirPod runs out of battery but the other is still fully charged. Rate this translation: B 5:45 PM 9/22/26.9.6M Views 244 16K ♡ EVI 176K ☐ 6.2K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 26
    Greg the Sorcerer @gregthesorcerer Accidentally rolling my dinner dice instead of my regular dбs when casting a fireball and dealing 8 chinese damage to the group of bandits I was targeting Dudley Newright @NewRightPoast. 1d idk if you can call yourself human if you own one of these Chinese Seafood 12:14 PM 9/22/26 1.2M Views 215 1 7.3K Mexican 81K 6K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 27
    meeka @MeekyBlinders while we're on job interview discourse one of the funniest things a candidate did when i interviewed them was walk into the room with a phone to their ear and when i tried to introduce myself they held up a finger and pointed at the phone 1:30 PM 9/22/26.569K Views • 56 1332 16K 345 ↑
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  • 28
    Heidi Klum's worm face @worm_face My uncle d d last night. Went in for sur ry on his heart stint but he didn't look good so my cousin said "pull the plug." An hour later he sat up, signed himself out, went to the bar with his friends, got plastered then D D. True Midwestern Irish Man d d doing what he loved. 11:57 AM 10/2/26 7.9M Views 223 17 2.3K 116K ☐ 4.5K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 29
    lindsey @oldlinds hey wanna check out this new brunch spot that isnt near where any of us live? they don't take reservations but if we get there by 8 we should be able to get a table in around 3 hours.they won't seat us unless all 11 of us are there so we can all wait together. French toast is $65 9:29 AM 10/3/26 166K Views . 16 1 469 9.3K ☐ 286 ↑
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  • 30
    King Sha @TheKingShaMugga One day my landlord text me like "I noticed you have flushable wipes in your bathroom, please don't use those it could clog our sewage system" I said ok. I told my lady and she goes....why was she in ya bathroom. I was like why the f was she in my bathroom. I had to move 4:31 AM 10/2/26 7.8M Views 315 14.9K 230K ☐ 8.3K ↑
    via TwitterLitter

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